The Hello Deli Saga

There have been many highlights during my career at PR Newswire, perhaps none more notable than getting a sandwich named after the company at Hello Deli.


The video would have you believe that I pleasantly politicked to have a local merchant pay homage to our place of employ, but in reality the idea was first presented to Rupert Jee in passing by my colleague Steve (right). While the chronology cited in the video is accurate, the catalyst was conveniently omitted.

One day, Steve, Simon and I went in and placed our orders as usual. It was a sunny afternoon and we were in good spirits. Simon was making the usual small talk with Rupert when a CBS camera crew barged in. A crusty old security guard started yelling, "Everybody get the f--k out." Simon acknowledged the guy and told him we would leave as soon as our food was ready. I could see Rupert tense up as his partner May scrambled to get our order together. Then the guy yelled, "What are you a wise guy? If you don't get out, I'll throw you out."

After what seemed like an eternity, Rupert handed the food to Simon and he and Steve left. On my way out, I stopped and said to the guy, "You ain't the only one working today, you gotta ruin my lunch." I was only a few steps from the door when he burst outside screaming, "You wanna go, let's go." His face was bright red and he nearly fell down trying to take off his jacket. His cell phone went flying into the middle of the street, shattering into pieces. Spit flew from his mouth like a rabid dog. I stood my ground, thinking if any got on me, I would strike. Then the camera crew intervened, fearful their co-worker would have a heart attack.

A patrolman who was on the corner of Broadway came over to investigate. Eyewitnesses told him that this crazy guy came out of the deli threatening to fight me. The cop gave me a bemused look and said, "Do you care about this?"

"Not really."

"Do you wanna just walk away?"

"Sure," I said.

When we returned to the office, Simon (left) recounted the episode in front of a captive lunchroom audience. Some listeners told me I should have let the guy hit me and sued CBS. Others were incredulous that Letterman would employ someone so unprofessional. Steve decided to write a letter to the producers to let them know the potential liability they had on their hands. What if we were tourists for goodness sake.

The next day, we received a package from Barbara Gaines, the executive producer of the Late Show. In it were three heather gray t-shirts and a note that read, "I know t-shirts are no consolation -- Thank you for writing!" Simon was incensed at the cheap bribe and refused to take it, so we gave them away to our co-workers, thinking the case was closed. Then one of the editors on the floor said he had May from Hello Deli on the phone for me. She asked that we come by as she and Rupert were really upset by what happened.

We went over on our break and Rupert and May apologized for the incident. They offered us lunch on the house for our trouble. Then Rupert told us that the security guard, Bill, was totally out of line and it had gotten him in a lot of trouble with his boss. Not that we had much sympathy, but then Rupert said Bill was a retired city cop and had protected him over the years when Letterman would send him out to harass the public. Just then, in a bizarre coincidence, Bill walked in to get a pack of cigarettes. He looked at me, Simon and Steve and said, "You guys can say whatever you want," before dashing out.

Rupert asked me to smooth the situation over and get Bill off the hook because he owed it to him. There were two new sandwiches on the counter with paper plates as their temporary signs. I said I would take care of it if Rupert named one of the sandwiches on behalf of PRN, which he did, and the other became the Regis Philbin. (Photo: Bill standing on the far right outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater.)