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Showing posts from August, 2006

Bugs Bug Me

Bugs, bugs everywhere! They have descended on the city like a tempest, a jihad against exposed flesh. Where are the seagulls? These lazy pigeons ain't doing shit.

These pests are spawning faster than gremlins in a bathtub, even at the office where I work. It's unsettling when they land on the computer screen as nonchalantly as they did the black and white TV I watched growing up. They're in the bathrooms, the hallways, and the elevators. I got bit on the back of the thigh and on the Achilles tendon this morning. Vicious thugs -- it's hard to scratch the Achilles.

One would expect bugs to be in the park, but the other day this one landed on my shoulder and it was as big as a squirrel. I can't believe the darn thing didn't think I'd notice it, but I did and then I freaked out in front of these kids who were on a nearby nature expedition.

Is Hitchcock having fun with us? Is this some new-fangled terrorist plot? Where did all these bugs come from? Canada? How …

Sugar in My Coffee

My hangover remedy of late is an everything bagel toasted with butter, a fruit punch Gatorade(R) and an iced coffee, black, no sugar. Can't stand sugar in my coffee, not sure why, just doesn't jive.

Had a rough go last week, where the old I'll-go-out-for-a-beer led to an impromptu vodka taste test after brief interludes with tequila, whiskey and the Captain.

Next morning, I get to a bagel store for the appropriate prescription. Standing on the sweaty subway platform, I take a sip of the sweet, sandy solution, failing to notice the sugary beach at the bottom of the container. I shake it up hoping the ice will dilute the syrup, but it's no use. If not for the two bucks spent on the large cup, I would have dumped it and cut my losses.

Damn sunk costs. Damn language barrier between me and the proprietor. Damn glad I didn't forget the aspirin.