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Showing posts from July, 2007

Amy Winehouse Is Gonna Straighten Your Ass Out

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Listen up Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears! Amy Winehouse is gonna get on a plane, and she's gonna come out there for the day, and she's gonna straighten your ass out when she sees you. Do you understand me? She's gonna really make sure you get it. Then she's gonna get on a plane, she's gonna turn around and she's gonna come home. So you better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with her because she's gonna let you know just how she feels about what a rude little pig you really are. You are a rude, thoughtless little pig, okay!?!

Cuckoo for Cookie Puss

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Who knows what legendary Carvel characters lurk within the hearts of men?

The White Rhino do.

There is something to be said for social media via Wikipedia's entry on Cookie Puss.

And Fudgy the Whale!

How bout a vintage clip of Cookie O'Puss on You Tube?



I'm pretty sure Tom Carvel invented crack.

Smucker's Is Dead to Me
This morning I opted for Smucker's All Natural Peanut Butter over my old standby Skippy Creamy. It was the Reduced Fat logo on the Skippy that threw me off as I give fat the credit for letting the goop off the roof of the mouth.

Get home and open the Smucker's and out pours a tablespoon of peanut oil down my cabinet's facade. I am furious. I am tempted to bring the jar back across the street to the Korean grocer who I have known for seven years, but alas the label reads: Separation of oil and butter may occur. Simply mix together and enjoy the taste.

Simply mix together! That shit is harder than concrete!

I was negligent. I should have …