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Showing posts from 2016

To Be a Kid Again

My wife and I promised our boys we'd take them ice skating this New Year's Eve and we made good on it. I haven't been on skates in ages and the sum total of times I have can be counted on one hand. My youngest son is a big three, which means he's closer to four and he was unfazed when I laced up his tiny skates. He walked with a purpose to the edge of the rink, but when he stepped on the ice, his confidence shattered. His feet went in different directions like a foal outside a barn and he screamed from the top of his lungs for me to get him out of there. Problem was, I couldn't. He held my hand as I clutched the wall and the two of us spiraled our way forward with the other skaters. At times, he would clutch me as if he was hanging off a cliff. Then a young girl came by and asked me if my son was learning how to balance. She couldn't have been much older than six. She told him to keep his legs straight, bend his knees, and walk like a penguin. I don't th

Billy Joel Plays 33rd Show at Madison Square Garden

You can tell Billy Joel enjoys what he does for a living. From the moment he walks on stage, the room shrinks and the audience feels like they're sitting in his living room. These days, that living room happens to be Madison Square Garden. He called his 33rd show at MSG, the "Halloween" show, and peppered his fans with the themes from Halloween , Friday the 13th , The Addams Family and  Jaws  along with a raucous snippet of "The Monster Mash" amidst "The River of Dreams." While "You May Be Right" on any "Long Night" with the "Piano Man," I was thrilled when "The Downeaster Alexa" won the "toss up" over "Say Goodbye to Hollywood." Ya-ya-ya-oh! Strong Island in the house! I brought my "Uptown Girl" to the show for our ninth wedding anniversary as she's wanted to see Billy Joel for "The Longest Time" and, well, "She's Always a Woman" to me. We embrace

The Body

Elle Macpherson aka "The Body" The body is a source of sheer delight and immense disappointment. It is unique to each of us. It can be sculpted and it can change its shape without warning. We are its master and its victim. Elle Macpherson was known as "The Body" after hers graced the Sports Illustrated  Swimsuit Issue again and again, meanwhile Jesse "The Body" Ventura used his on the battlefield, the wrestling ring, and the political arena. The body of a newborn begins its journey to the body of an octogenarian. The intricate systems of the body keep it moving from start to finish, through shrieks of agony and pulsating electric shocks from the embrace of a lover. It appears in scripture and in strip malls. It's in our work. It is the one thing you know best and hardly at all. We stare at it in the mirror and we stare at other versions on the beach or in the gym. At times, we covet it like a jewel. Jesse "The Body" Ventura A

Working Man Blues

When that odd day comes and I'm finally out of debt I shall sit in a soft chair and light up a cigarette I will enjoy a good smoke then I'll let out a sigh as I think of all the days worked and the time gone by The bills will be paid my stomach well fed I'll watch some TV before I go to bed and dream of all the things I have and those I should get and in no time at all I'll be back in debt.

Ireland Baldwin Treats Us to a Lady Picture Show on the Heels of Dylan Penn

Far from a rude, thoughtless little pig , Ireland Baldwin will appear in a "some like it hot" portfolio by Arthur Belebeau in the number 11 issue of Treats! Magazine on the 4" heels of Dylan Penn who appeared in the  number seven  issue. Seven or 11 is quite a come out roll for the luscious pair who continue their ascendancy and are no longer a secret .  Check it out: Ireland Baldwin, Treats! Magazine, Issue 11. Ireland Baldwin, Treats! Magazine, Issue 11. Ireland Baldwin, Treats! Magazine, Issue 11. Ireland Baldwin, Treats! Magazine, Issue 11.

Mourn the Slain

Mourn the slain of every color and domain Oppose the violent and profane and wisdom of the criminally insane Violence begets violence, there ain't no gain Tyrannical politics fanning the flame No common decency to ease the pain Just surging hatred toward fellow man In the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave Nobody's right unless someone is wrong Each one of us deciding who does belong Not a different tribe or religion Blindness stands in way of our Founders' vision that we are endowed by our Creator Who sent forth a lover, not a hater Who stood only as tall as the smallest one and told us to love each and everyone But we keep trucking a different lane At speeds too fast to mourn the slain and foot too heavy to hit the break and a fury too blind to see our mistake.

Loss for Words

Loss for words Planting grass seed for birds Picking up doggie turds Outside in the sun Can not think Ground needs a drink Birds don't blink Kids shrieking with fun Pause to breathe ... Birds starting to leave Kids start to believe New green grass will come. Image courtesy of  Weird Long Beard Press.

Matt Harvey: The Dark Knight of Gotham Will Rise

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) People of Gotham, have you lost your Vulcan minds? Mets fans, have you been infiltrated by front-runners who switch their allegiance as casually as they transfer from the 4-train to the 7-train? Have we collectively sunk into deep despair as we watch the villains pillage our city in the absence of its protector? Indeed, we have. We've seen the movie before. It was released in 2012, the very same year Matt Harvey first took the mound in Gotham Citi Field and gave the few who still believed, hope. He put the franchise on his shoulders and was invincible. He wrestled headlines and models away from the Yankees Captain and brought back a swagger reminiscent of his Hall of Fame predecessors Tom Seaver and Mike Piazza. He walked the tightrope and he did backflips on it with the snap of his cape before disappearing into the shadows to await the next arrival of would-be assassins from DC, Philly and The Bronx. If he let up just one run, the fat lady wo

Who Is the Girl in the El Dorado Spa Resorts & Hotels by Karisma TV Ad?

Often times a long journey can lead you back to the beginning. Such was the case in my quest to uncover the model featured in the El Dorado Spa Resorts & Hotels by Karisma TV ad. You know the one, she's wearing a white string bikini, leaning against a four-poster bed on a sandy beach, watching a man in blue boardshorts approach. It's a stunning ad, produced by Dorn Martell from Tinsley Advertising with original music by John Jay Martyn and Jimi Ruccolo on guitar. I uncovered all of these contributors, including the voice-over-artist, Jodi Krangle, in my search for the woman in the white bikini. Katie Luddy for El Dorado Maroma What prompted me to set sail on this odyssey? While the sensuous ad targeting the luxury traveler was the vehicle, the catalyst was as ancient as Helen of Troy, desire. "I wish that was my butt," said my wife.  "Me, too," I said. But whose butt is it? A Google search led to countless other searches, taking a

February Comes and Goes

February comes and goes Where the days go noboby knows March comes in like a hungry lion  to eat President's Day leftovers nobody's buyin Beware the Ides says Great Caesar's ghost or was it a Hollywood Oscar host? Easter risin like a cat on a spring jumpin upon you like a sudden fling Pollinating flowers into new born buds Sittin on a cooler knockin back suds  The days grow longer with nothing to do The heat presses down on your frizzy hair-do The leaves change and the air grows brisk while Wall Street portfolios mitigate the risk The holidays swirl and smack you like a tornado New Year's Eve ball drops at midnight, wait though ... I haven't had time to change my clothes Another February comes and goes. Dog at Greenwich Point Park, Conn. | Photo: Bob Luckey

Man Escapes Office Run by Zombies

NEW YORK, Jan. 31 -- A young man was rescued from a local business in Midtown yesterday that was run by brain-eating zombies. "At first I didn't realize I was among the undead. There was not a lot of chit chat in the office and coworkers seemed to stare blankly at their screens all day. It was similar to my last job," he said. The young man would see coworkers assemble and leave the office together around lunchtime, but only a few would return. These coworkers along with his managers often walked by him as if he was invisible.   Image credit:  Daniel Hollister | Flickr "I said hello to one woman each day who was always standing by the coffee machine, although no coffee ever seemed to come out of it," he said.  He reports the work was mindless and that his biggest challenge was remembering his Windows login.  "When I'd struggle to remember my password, a crowd of coworkers would gather near my cubicle and grunt at one another, but