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Showing posts with the label Alec Baldwin

The Ascendancy of Dylan Penn and Ireland Baldwin

In the wake of holiday feasts when family and friends gather around the table for coffee and dessert, I'm often intrigued by the subjects that come up, especially when the group digresses into the did-you-hear gossip about celebs.
Last year Ireland Baldwin was the center of attention, but this year's belle of the cream-and-sugar bowl was Dylan Penn. For those who have not been introduced to either one, yet, these women are the exceedingly beautiful progeny of Hollywood couples Sean Penn and Robin Wright and Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. Behold:


I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that we will be seeing and hearing a lot more about Dylan and Ireland in the new year.

I Lost 26 Pounds in Two Months on the Jenny Crohn's Diet

For those of you who haven't seen me in a while, here is some footage from a recent sales call I made to D.C.:


While it's true I've been competing with my fiancee over who would have the sexiest, trimmest figure on our wedding day, my gray pallor and severe lack of mobility needed to be addressed.

Oh sure, I knew about the mass in my intestines more than a year ago, doc recommended surgery then, even read back his notes: "Patient said he doesn't want surgery." I've been called stoic for enduring the pain and trying not to let it affect my life, but I believe it was cowardice all along. Although the medical fact that this insidious disease might return to the same spot within five years can also be attributed to my reluctance.

Alas, the decision to proceed has been made. It's in God's hands now:

Amy Winehouse Is Gonna Straighten Your Ass Out

Listen up Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears! Amy Winehouse is gonna get on a plane, and she's gonna come out there for the day, and she's gonna straighten your ass out when she sees you. Do you understand me? She's gonna really make sure you get it. Then she's gonna get on a plane, she's gonna turn around and she's gonna come home. So you better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with her because she's gonna let you know just how she feels about what a rude little pig you really are. You are a rude, thoughtless little pig, okay!?!